Life feels good but sucks.
There are times when it really sucks to have the gifts that I do, especially since I actually care about others and don’t just want to take as much as I can get. Of course, I think I have finally gotten rid of my last questions of if I would be happier if I had lived a “crazy life” so I shouldn’t have to worry about that ridiculous question before. I’ve already mentioned that physical touch is strong and that I pick up a lot more than I might otherwise choose due to the questions and difficulties it brings.

You see, there is this girl (girl A) that is really fun to be around and whose thoughts and beliefs are so different that I can’t help but be curious (she is a witch). From what I can tell I am one of the only really nice people that she has known and the only one who has shown a genuine interest in her as a person. She also likes to show her affection through touch (like hugs, messing with people’s hair, ect.).

I do care about her and love her as a friend but her spiritual beliefs mean that I could never even consider dating her. When she isn’t around I can see how much I would love for her to be a good friend and just talk for hours (assuming I’m not distracted by the memories of when she is around). When she is around I only wish I could be with her and near to her more. When she looks at me and smiles I am filled with joy and can’t help but smiling. When she touches me I even forget to smile because of the pure ecstasy. But when I leave again I am faced with the fact that those emotions, as real as they may be, are not mine and that if she were to want to “do something” that I almost certainly would not resist. I wonder if this is what the other girl has felt like and I don’t blame her for not wanting to talk to me now that she has gotten away from me. Still, I do like knowing that some other people like having me around.